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If I had a cell phone, I woulda got a picture because this post definitely warrants one.

So yesterday I'm walking from the gym to the parking lot. I have to go down some stairs to get to my car. I hit the door and BOOM...black g-string hanging from the knob. What's a black g-string doing on the doorknob in the parking garage at my gym? I jumped back at the sight, wrapped my hand in my already dirty towel and positioned my palm and fingers away from where it was hanging. This made opening the door much more difficult, but for once I had zero desire to touch panties. Maybe some people got all hot and bothered during their workout and just had to get to fucking right then and there. But this was around 1:30 p.m. I can't imagine anyone taking that sort of risk in the middle of the day with a slew of suit-and-tie business types and housewives making their midday trip to the gym walking by every so often. I always wash my hands and shower when I got home from the gym. This time I soaped up twice.

I swear people, I don't make this stuff up.