DUMB AND DUMBER

People give me all kinds of hatred when they discover that I don't vote. Not only do I not vote, I highly encourage others to do the same. As if you didn't know why, let's look at this presidential race. Or more specifically, the vice presidential candidates.

So Obama picks this Joe Biden guy. Obama's the future, the great half-white hope, down with the kids, hip. And what's he do to ruin that? He picks a boring ass white guy to "balance" the ticket. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. People don't want more of the same. Agree or disagree with her, we can all admit that picking Hillary would have meant difference for two reasons. But no, he picks a guy who looks like every other politician in the history of United States politics (except Taft, that fat motherfucker). Either Obama and his people are completely stupid or they are the exact same group that they claim they aren't -- politicians. If Obama's not playing the game, then why's he picking such a lame ass? Shit, Bill Richardson from New Mexico would have been the same old shit but wrapped in a Hispanic body. Friends, that's called two birds with one stone. But no, he does the same thing everyone before him has done. What he fails to realize or is afraid to devote himself 100 percent to is the fact that his supporters and a great deal of undecided voters like the idea of him as Commander in Chief because he offers an alternative. Why not push that even further and pick a running mate who isn't safe, isn't ordinary, isn't the same old song and dance? Why? Because that's taking a leap no politician wants to face. Guys like Obama want to get elected. Nothing more. Nothing less.

As if that wasn't bad enough, McCain selects a woman with zero experience. I mean, like at all. Two years ago she was the mayor of an Alaskan town with a population smaller than the street I live on and now she's supposed to be the second most powerful person in the world? Even a blind person can see how degrading this is to anyone with any level of intelligence. No wait, that's offensive to blind people (believe you me -- this blog's HUGE with the blind). Even someone from Oklahoma can see how degrading this is to anyone with any level of intelligence. I'd explain, but luckily, I don't have to. I was at the meeting between McCain and the tape was rolling.

McCain: "So he didn't pick Hillary?"
Some white guy: "No, sir. He picked Joe Biden."
McCain: "The white guy?"
Same white guy: "Yes, sir. That Joe Biden."
McCain pauses a second before rubbing his hands together and grinning: "So all those Hilary supporters are still out there?"
Different white guy, very eager: "Yes, sir. They are."
McCain: "Hillary wouldn't say yes, would she?"
Third white guy: "Probably not, sir."
McCain: "Can we get another female?"
First white guy: "Yes, we can, sir. There's a woman from Alaska named Sar..."
McCain: "Get her on the phone, pronto."

I'm a guy, so I can't speak for the female mentality, but if I had boobs and a vagina, I'd feel like McCain's choice of running mate was the most sexist (what's wrong with being sexy?), insulting, 1950s mentality thing he could have done. What better way to show voters how in touch with females you are than to pick one for vice president? Even one no one's ever heard of because there's never been a reason for the rest of the country to know anything about her? There goes that whole "Obama's got no experience" argument because anytime the Republicans bring that up, every journalist in the world will ask about Palin.

I don't believe in God, but if there is one, please God, I'm BEGGING you, pretty pretty please let this rumor about Palin's fifth kid really being her grandchild true. That would SO rule.

Gun to my head, I'm going with Obama. In fact, I agree with some of the things he says. Problem is, I don't trust politicians. Maybe it's childish of me to harbor insecure thoughts about a man I've never met based on the history of those who held his job title, but when you've being in existence for as long as politicians have been around and you've got that sort of track record, I can't be anything but skeptical.