UNTITLED

I cannot feel it
I cannot see it

but
the gun must be there

why else would I voluntarily put one foot in front of the other,
head toward the bathroom for a shower
and walk out the door
through the driveway
and down the street
to get to my car
turn the key and
drive
to the freeway, on the freeway, change freeways?

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

it’s all too much
my mind is screaming “NOOOOO”
but my feet keep moving
the screams get louder...my feet move faster
there is no stopping this avalanche
something takes control of my body
and it is then when I am no longer me

I belong to them,
the gun-toting invisible criminals
threatening my life
all for pity wages and mercy raises

I thought I was smarter than this
I am starting to think I was wrong