WTF???!!!!!!

No. 1: Yesterday I saw a grown man having an intense conversation with a suit of armor. I was driving down Broadway. There's this antique shop that has had this piece of junk sitting out front for God knows how long. So, I'm driving home when I see this guy, how do I say this nicely?? Um, I don't think this man has a permanent address. Anyway, even from a block away, I can tell he's really fired up about something. I get closer and I see he's yelling at the suit of armor. "Probably talking to someone through the door," I think. Nope. The door was closed. Shop was not open. Homeboy was yelling at the suit of armor.

No. 2. Just five minutes ago, a teacher walked into the building where I work at a community college.
"Uh, someone had an accident in the elevator?"
"What kind of accident?" the receptionist replied.
"Number two."

After further inspection (not by me), indeed, a shit was taken inside an elevator. The latest report says it's still fuming.

The teacher walked into my boss' office, a mere three feet from where I type. After hearing this, my boss responded with, "is it big?" The teacher said, and I quote, "no. But there's a lot of fiber."

FAT TIRE IN THE DISTRICT

Fat Tire now comes in a can. Read all about it here.

DAY TRIP TO THE GARMENT DISTRICT

The girlfriend's a budding fashion designer and needed to hit LA's Garment District for some fabric. It was Saturday. The sun was up. I had shit to do, but nothing too pressing, so I said fuck it and hopped in the car. Plus, she promised we could hit what turned out to be an absolutely killer vegan restaurant named VegiSoul on the way home.

Here are some pics.



Random shot of some stores.



Intersection of 12th and San Pedro. Not quite a hotbed of activity. That's around the corner.


Part of the reason I wanted to take this trip was my love for old buildings. Downtown's got plenty of them. Here's one. I'd tell you what it is, but I don't know.


There is no great story behind this one except I was stopped at a red light and wanted to kill time. This is the result.


The final 100 yards before a swarm of people would make traffic nearly impossible.


A camera with a wider lens would show how there are garments on the sidewalk for as far as the eye can see. Of course, I wear glasses, so maybe that's just me. Anyway, there are lots. Here are some.


Pedestrians crossing on a green? What pedestrians crossing on a green?


Our destination was Michael Levine. There are two Michael Levine stores. This shot is of the one we didn't go to. Don't ask the difference; I'm just the boyfriend. If you're into fabric, it's like heaven. If you're not at all interested in that sort of thing, prepare to be more bored than you've ever been. Wait, I take that back. There are some Grade A women to people watch. Other than that, you'll be bored.


You wouldn't know it from this picture, but I had to wait a long ass time before I could snap one without a sea of people in it.


I tried to get a shot without a car, but that's like aiming your camera up and not getting a glimpse of the sky.


Maybe where the showrooms are is where families like this hang out, but not in the section we were in. I walked around and smelled piss and watched as people who didn't speak English sold hamsters on the sidewalk.


This is the back of the Michael Levine we went to. One hour validated parking!


Not sure why I took this one. Probably boredom. Or a desire to look like a tourist when I'm from a 20-minute drive from this location.


More cool buildings. Maybe in another life I'll live in downtown LA. There's just something about the area that has me intrigued.


Yet another cool old building.


A crowd of people usually means something interesting is going on. I took this pic, then crossed the street to see what was going down. It was nothing.


Santee Alley, home of knock-offs, pick pockets and parents who don't care that their children are walking into your shins.


This is just a guess, but after dark, I bet a lot of shady shit goes on in this alley.


Our photo tour concludes with a final picture of a cool old building.


Other than sitting in traffic for 20 minutes to get to a freeway offramp that without traffic was about three minutes away, I enjoyed myself. People from around the world think of LA as blondes, the beach, movie stars and all that. Sure, that's here, but when I think of LA, crowded downtown streets filled with people and cars and the smell of roadside taco stands is what comes to mind.

PS All that imitation crap and not one Lakers shirt. What gives?

SIRIUS RESPONSE

I spent a long time crafting my complaint letter to Sirius. And for my trouble, I got a form letter.

I hate big business.



Dear Jim,

Thank you for contacting SIRIUS regarding the additional charge for
online listening. We are here to assist you!

Jim, we understand that you may be upset due to the fact that there is
now an additional charge to listen online. Upon the review of your
account it indicates that you will continue to listen online for free
until the end of your current subscription on May 08, 2009. You will
have the option of continuing your online service for only $2.99 per
month on our Everything and Best of plans. The monthly charge is NOT
automatic; if you want to continue online listening after your free
period expires, just contact us and we will set that up for you. In
response to Subscriber demand, we are upgrading all our online listening
platforms to higher digital quality. In order to support the technology
needed to provide such a premium benefit, a small monthly fee is
required.

The price increase complies with the FCC Order approving the merger and
is consistent in all respects with the voluntary commitments the
companies publicly made to the FCC. The FCC?s Order in July 2008
approving the merger, and the companies? voluntary commitments, only
froze for a limited time the retail price of the basic $12.95 per month
subscription package, the a la carte programming packages, the best of
both programming packages, the mostly music and news, sports, and talk
programming packages, and the discount family-friendly programming
package. The FCC?s Order did not limit the ability of the company to
change the price of its other offerings, packages or services.

We are committed to providing you with the best in customer care. If
you have any more questions, please feel free to contact SIRIUS Customer
Care. For your convenience, we are available 7 days a week at:

SIRIUS RADIO
1221 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.sirius.com
SIRIUS Customer Care: 1-888-539-7474

As well as by email at:

www.sirius.com/customercare

And you can always manage your account 24/7 by visiting our website at:

www.sirius.com

Have a great day!

Sincerely,

Nicole
SIRIUS Customer Care

Did you know that SIRIUS has great money-saving billing options? You
can get 1-14 months free depending on the option you choose. Call us at
888-539-SIRIUS (7474) and we?ll help you choose the plan that?s right
for you!

SIRIUS Satellite Radio, The Best Radio on Radio

EARLY MORNING POEM

cats pile on top
hoping to wake a sleeping angel
alarm clock is loud
obnoxious
and through the window

the birds sing


hot water is nil
the towel is damp
from last night’s cleansing
while
the toothpaste is low
and through the window

the birds keep singing


out of coffee
out of juice
last of the milk
used for stale cereal
and through the window

the birds keep singing


car is cold
traffic moves slow
destination time approaches
while the vehicle does not
somewhere
back at home
where it’s warm, spacious and
you are your boss
up in a tree

the birds still sing


apartment is dark, cold
smells like cats
dust bunnies everywhere
breakfast dishes in the sink
pounding headache
walk to the bedroom,
hang up your coat
and through the window

the birds sing


pjs on
lights off
blanket pulled tight
reality and dreams meet
in purgatory
with
one foot here
and
one foot there
through the window

the birds sing

SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO COMPLAINT LETTER

In March I was told that if I renewed my subscriptions before March 31, I would not have to pay any additional money to listen online. Today I logged on and discovered I now have to fork over another $2.99 for that service.

I called and your customer service representative gave me a scenario which was the exact opposite of what I thought I was signing up for earlier this year. This is not the first time I have had problems with Sirius and I suspect it will not be the last.

When Sirius and XM merged, customers were told all about the benefits and how programming would improve while the costs would remain the same. Both are lies.

The programming at Sirius is worthy of my $12.99 a month; the way customers are treated is absolute dogshit.

This is more fucking bullshit from your shitty fucking company. The day Howard Stern leaves, so do my two subscriptions. Until then, I will continue to listen in my car and download the show from a number of websites that provide these illegal services for free.
I just sent this letter to Sirius Satellite Radio. After the lying scumbags told me if I re-upped my subscription by March 31 I wouldn't have to pay an additional $2.99 a month for the Internet stream, I logged on today to discover that I do in fact have to pay.

I had a problem with Sirius about a year ago and it was worse than going to the dentist. For once in my life, I had to let them know.

So here's what I wrote.




In March I was told that if I renewed my subscriptions before March 31, I would not have to pay any additional money to listen online. Today I logged on and discovered I now have to fork over another $2.99 for that service.

I called and your customer service representative gave me a scenario which was the exact opposite of what I thought I was signing up for earlier this year. This is not the first time I have had problems with Sirius and I suspect it will not be the last.

When Sirius and XM merged, customers were told all about the benefits and how programming would improve while the costs would remain the same. Both are lies.

The programming at Sirius is worthy of my $12.99 a month; the way customers are treated is absolute dogshit.

This is more fucking bullshit from your shitty fucking company. The day Howard Stern leaves, so do my two subscriptions. Until then, I will continue to listen in my car and download the show from a number of websites that provide these illegal services for free.

I am tired of dealing with the bait and switch tactics of Sirius. The funny thing is, I am not the sort of person who complains and/or writes letters to companies. But this is too goddamn much. I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau regarding the poor treatment I received in the past. I would love to do the same now, but to be honest, it doesn't fucking matter anymore. No longer will I sing the praises of Sirius to my friends and family.
Instead, I will tell everyone who will listen (I'm a freelance journalist who's written positive things about you in the past, but no more) that they are better off with their iPods and sitting through the commerical-laden sesspool of FM radio. From now on, everyone I know will discover that you are a money-hungry corporation that doesn't give two shits about the promises you make.

And the worst part (for me) is, I love Howard Stern. So you've got my money for as long as he's on your airwaves. I'm trapped and there's nothing I can do. So I guess one of us is getting what they want. Congratulations.

LAUGHING AT ME

you hum naysaying songs
and
I don’t care
you can snicker all you want
because
no matter
how hard the geeks at the electronic store
try to persuade me
I know you are nothing
but a
pile of drab silver coating
and a bunch of
messy wires
neither the vehicle nor the tool,
you are merely
an obnoxious obstacle
another hurdle
from here
to the finish line