Saturday, July 25, 2009


I'm sick and what better way to pretend like I'm productive than to update photos and semi-silly captions to my blog?

Last night it was the day trip to Carpinteria. Today it's more pictures of gay pride than you'd ever want to see.

The parade takes place a few hundred yards from my apartment, so I have to go. This year (and last year) the girlfriend couldn't make it, so I went with my friend John, who is gay. He showed up wearing a white V-neck shirt, which is exactly what I was wearing. I asked my girlfriend if I should change and she said no one would even notice. Continue reading to find out if someone noticed or not.

This is from the porch of the house John takes me to every year. The dude's super rich and has an open bar and breakfast buffet. This year he actually had someone at the door asking who you knew. John said the right name and we were in, but we got there so late all the booze was gone. So we left. Anyway, we're standing on the porch when two guys John knew started talking to him. One of them looked at me and asked John, "is this your partner?" We laughed and John said no. Then he replied, "oh. Well, you're wearing the same shirt..."

This (and the next four) show how many people come out (no pun intended) for the parade. And this is just a very tiny sliver of the route.

Dykes on Bikes always begin the parade because if there's one thing you don't do, it's say no to a lesbian. Especially a biker lesbian.

The house with the big party.

"Oh my god! He walked right past me!" Really doe, this is Gavin Newson, San Francisco mayor and California gubernatorial candidate. Homebody has to win because I've never seen someone who radiates politician like this guy. He's got that smooth character that comes off as genuine but probably isn't. In his defense, he's got great hair and he supports the gays. I don't vote, but I think it's awesome that he's not only in favor of gay rights, but he's marching in a parade. Sure, it's a political move, but even in 2009, it's not a popular one.

Speaking of politicians, here are two people responsible for making Long Beach a great place to live: Robert Garcia and Suja Lowenthal. PS Sarcasm doesn't come across on the Internet.

That takes talent.

These were two of the three DJs who came on after Howard Stern when he was on terrestrial radio. So of course I yelled "Baby Booey" at them from across the street. After four shouts, they looked around and found me waving my arms at them. They saw me, laughed, looked a bit uncomfortable and turned away. John didn't know what I was doing. Neither did the 300 people standing near me. But these radio people knew and they knew I knew and knowing is half the battle.

The pigs were there and I booed them. I take that back. I didn't just boo. I raised my hands above my head and gave them two thumbs down while sticking out my tongue. John grabbed me by my shirt and said, "ohmygawd. Will you knock it off?" I replied, "They might be gay, but they're still pigs." Then he booed them too.

Gay or not, hippies are still irritating.

I'm willing to bet my left pinkie that she was born with a vagina.

John said, "ohmygawd. I'm afraid of them."

That's one helluva sun burn. And a massive overhanging gut.

His dad is very proud of him.


Not after drinking all the alcohol in the state of California, hopping to Nevada and drinking all their booze, then jumping on a plane to Germany and downing all their beer would I be fooled into thinking this was a real chick.

I gotta be honest. This girl was standing directly across from me for a few hours. From my side of the street, she looked gorgeous and I had to take a pervy shot. I swear I'm not that guy, but when there are 30,000 gay dudes around you, tell me you don't zone in on the lone hot chick within your line of vision.

"Right to reject religion." Amen.

Seriously, straight guys, there are like four straight women at this event and each one is a ten. All you have to do is deal with fat dudes in blonde wigs and buff dudes with better bodies than your fat ass will ever have rockin' a mermaid costume.

Pervy pic of a nice ass.

Damn you Johnny Depp and your mainstreaming of pirates.

Back story: This is NOT a cock shot. Rather, that plant just fell off the float and I was taking a picture of the hilarity. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

I snapped this pic because I've never seen so many people in/on such a tiny car before. It's a two-seater, but the marketing team might want to check out this picture and re-tool their image. There are no fewer than five people riding in this car.

This guy was...You see he kept...And then my friend...fuck...I can't even come up with a joke. Make your own.

This disco car is in the parade every year. Or at least for the past five years. That's how long I've been going.

OK, so maybe I busted some balls here, but in all seriousness, I love the gays and the gay pride parade. It's really an uplifting feeling to see lots of people who get shit on every day just be who they are in the public. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't get goosebumps whenever the friends and family of gay people walk past.

There are plenty of straight spectators, which I think is nice. We need to show our support for people being themselves and if that entails watching what is easily the best annual event in Long Beach, I'll gladly participate every year.

No comments: