Tuesday, May 27, 2008

GOD BLESS ALL CYBERSPACE BELIEVERS


If she doesn't want her husband's money used by non-believers, why in the hell is she sending this to me? You can't be more of a non-believer than I am.

But maybe you, faithful Jim Hall Sleeps All Day reader, can help. Maybe you are a fool who is stupid enough not only to believe in God, but also fall for this ridiculous e-mail. I mean, come on people. Maybe someone was duped the first time the Internets got all popular a decade ago, but in 2008?

Her e-mail address is reb_will-7@k.ro. I know that's probably fake, but I am going to pass that along just in case one of you fine Christians out there in WWWland feels like helping out a fellow believer.

But don't say I didn't warn you.

In fact, I'm not sure which to warn you about: The scam or the money.

Here's her e-mail to me. Feel free to reply and tell her how much Jesus loves a fraud.

From Mrs Rebecca Williams
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire



ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Benson
Williams, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years
before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a
child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I
decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the
Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of
$2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in
Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me
that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs
me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to
donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the
way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund
for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that
the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I
took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this
money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my
husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where
this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this
decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know
that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that
the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my
health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I
don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are
possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of
the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me
because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a
worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in
spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s, any delay in
your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for
this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I
Stated herein. Hoping to receive your
reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Rebecca Williams.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

JOHN FANTE'S JOHN HANCOCK

Here's a quick read about an autographed copy of John Fante's "Full of Life." A bookstore owner in Long Beach has it. I saw it. From what I have been told, a Fante signature is pretty rare.

As anyone who reads this blog should know, I pretty much drool over anything John Fante. If Stephen Cooper didn't write a biography, I would have.

http://thedistrictweekly.com/print/commerce/buy-curious/love-and-kisses-johnnie-fante/

Thursday, May 22, 2008

TACO SALAD DAYS

Here's a little thingy I wrote for the District regarding the taco salad at Coco Renos. Now I know everyone will say the tofu tacos are the best, but those people haven't had the taco salad.

PS Make sure to ask for tofu.

http://thedistrictweekly.com/print/food-drink/the-sides/sides-10/

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

UGH

Driving down Third Street. Just about to enter the 710. There's a beat up clunker Caddy with a For Sale By Owner sign in the back window. It used to be baby blue. Now it's covered in filth.

Asshole makes his way onto the onramp, but before he does, he throws a plastic bottle of drinking water out his window. I saw the whole thing. His (or her, but probably his. Most women aren't this stupid.) hand came out and he tossed it.

I wanted to track him down and kick him in the shins. For once, I wish I had a cell phone so I could call the cops. I mean, it's 2008andfucking8 people. Who does this sort of thing? Would it have killed this jerk to throw the bottle in the backseat or into the passenger side?

It's incredibly frustrating to be of sound mind these days. Those who get the big picture of why something like throwing a bottle out of a car and onto a freeway entrance are being held back by those who don't understand the stupidity of throwing a bottle out of a car and onto a freeway entrance. These morons don't understand that one of them holds more power than thousands of good people because all it takes is one jerk to fuck everything up. George Bush is proof of that.

Monday, May 19, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY RAMONE


I don't make a habit of saying happy birthday to anyone -- dead or alive -- but Joey Ramone was one cool cat (is that how the kids are talking these days?) The man born Jeffrey Hyman would have turned...I don't know, old. He would have been old today. Like he was yesterday, if he didn't die when I was in college.

I was in a features writing class. We were all excited because for most of us it was the first time we'd ever had the Internet in a classroom. Which meant slacking off. I was doing something other than what I was supposed to do when the news scrolled across my screen. Joey Ramone Dead.

What a bummer. I almost cried in my seat. But I didn't.

I was lucky enough to see the Ramones exactly once. It was at Lollapalooza with Metallica and Devo. It was the first time seeing any of those bands for me. Shit, I was 16. Anyway, the Ramones played during the middle of the day, which I found odd. They burned through their already short songs as quick as they could. Didn't say a word. Just played. Then left. I thought maybe they'd do an encore, but bands who play when the sun's up don't get that luxury.

And that was it. I saw the Ramones from halfway up the Irvine Meadows hill. It wasn't the ideal experience, but I loved every second of it.

One time I wore my Ramones t-shirt with a black bob wig to school. I'm sure it was meant for girls, but with the shirt on I looked like either an actual Ramone or a major doofus fan. Some of my friends didn't even recognize me. I still don't know why I did that.

Posthumous hyperbole is all the rage, so let's leave it at this: Joey Ramone was a great singer in a great rock 'n' roll band. The music world suffered a big loss when he died.

Friday, May 16, 2008

HEY MISTER

It's a first over here at Jim Hall Sleeps All Day. I just wrote this and now it's yours. Enjoy.

Hey Mr. Gardener
or is it Mr. Lawnmower
Did you know how difficult
you are making it
for me to get anything done
right now?
I’m trying to think
and to type
and to create
and you ain’t helping
Weren’t leaf blowers banned years ago
for
this
exact
same
reason?
If you were my child,
I’d tell you to
take that noise
outside
But you’re already there
staring at me through my office window
doing everything in your power
to pretend you don’t see me
when we’ve made eye contact
at least three times
this morning
The first was when you
opened the gate
the one that sits next to where
I’m typing
You came through
and said “sonofabitch”
under your breath
after you failed to
kick-start your machine
and you got startled
when you turned around
and saw me there
Not that I care,
but I imagine saying
things like that
can’t be good for business
But you keep on
keepin’ on
clueless to the fact that
I’m writing about you
as your irritating tools
blow dust into my
asthmatic lungs
and dilute my coffee
Hey,
are you gonna pick up those leaves
or just blow them around some more?
That’s how I used to clean my room,
just shove all that shit
under the bed
and somehow
it magically disappears
Except when you leave
my backyard
will still be full of
debris
and you’ll be at someone else’s
home
creeping them
the
fuck
out
with your
windowless white van
parked in the center of their driveway
so no one can
come or go
like you do to me
on a weekly basis
And what about those three lawnchairs
you knocked over for no good reason
only to not put them back
in their place?
My mom told me to leave things
the way I found them
What did yours teach you?
How to be a grumpy old fart
with a bright red neck
from spending too many hours
in the hot California sun
punctuated by a forest of
white hairs crawling
from your back
with a lame job
that takes you into homes and neighborhoods
you’d never be able to afford
But I can’t complain
the landlord picks up this tab
not me
For that
you should be thankful
because I see the
shoddy work you do
and would fire you
like I spark joints –
smooth and effortlessly

Thursday, May 15, 2008

CONGRATS CALIFORNIA GAYS or BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR


These dudes are totally gonna fuck each other in the ass when the wedding's over.



California's Supreme Court overturned a ban on gay marriage. Although I have two feet firmly planted in the world of heterosexuality, I back this decision 100 percent.

So to all my gay friends, here's to never fucking another human being other than your spouse, holidays at the in-laws' house, having the blankets stolen from you at night every single time you get in bed, turning off football in favor of Home and Garden (wait, that might not apply to the gays), getting the stink eye when you come home smelling like one too many drinks and giving away half of everything you own once you get divorced.

HOORAY!

On a related note, why is the gay marriage card pulled out every single fucking time there's an upcoming election? War in Iraq, potential war in Iran, global warming (which may or may not be real depending on who you talk to), gas prices that are getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous, an economy as blossoming as a tomato plant in the desert and the Lakers hopes to win the NBA championship, yet we're talking about the legality of two people who for the sake of this post we will assume are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together? How is this relevant to anyone outside of religious nutjobs and asshole politicians? Answer: It's not.

Once again the public is being force-fed two handfuls of shit we don't care about. At all. I swear, I can't stand politics. Scratch that, I can't stand politicians, their campaign managers, handlers, yes-men, speech writers, personal assistants, press agents, bus drivers and whoever else is wrapped up in that world.

NEWSFLASH TO PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TELL OTHERS WHAT TO DO: Leave us the fuck alone. Why don't all of you take a piece of land (I hear Florida is lovely this time of year) and set up camp there where you can bitch back and forth about nothing while the rest of us are working hard to create a decent living envrionment for ourselves.

Politicans fail to realize the old adage of how important the little things are. Getting trash (I mean that both literally and figuratively) off the streets, making sure citizens have proper health care, saying hi to strangers as they stroll the eveing streets with their dogs in hand, inviting a neighbor over for a beer and barbecue, treating all living things with respect and not cutting people off on the freeway...practice these things and we'll all see a difference that could never be accomplished by some rich asshole living in a mansion on a hill off our tax dollars.

Back to my original point...
Dudes, you wanna fuck other dudes, be my guest. Ladies, you wanna eat some carpet, it's all yours. I don't think I am speaking for myself when I say an overwhelming majority of level-headed straight people are in your corner. Just make sure you don't take that last slice of cold pizza in the fridge and everything should work out as well for you as it has for the straights. I mean, look how strong the sanctimony of marriage is holding up. Who wouldn't want that?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

MORE STRANGENESS

If I had a cell phone, I woulda got a picture because this post definitely warrants one.

So yesterday I'm walking from the gym to the parking lot. I have to go down some stairs to get to my car. I hit the door and BOOM...black g-string hanging from the knob. What's a black g-string doing on the doorknob in the parking garage at my gym? I jumped back at the sight, wrapped my hand in my already dirty towel and positioned my palm and fingers away from where it was hanging. This made opening the door much more difficult, but for once I had zero desire to touch panties. Maybe some people got all hot and bothered during their workout and just had to get to fucking right then and there. But this was around 1:30 p.m. I can't imagine anyone taking that sort of risk in the middle of the day with a slew of suit-and-tie business types and housewives making their midday trip to the gym walking by every so often. I always wash my hands and shower when I got home from the gym. This time I soaped up twice.

I swear people, I don't make this stuff up.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

SLICK RICK IN LONG BEACH


My friend Gabe and Rick the Ruler



Holy shit! Could it be true? Slick Rick, MC Ricky D, Rick the Ruler was coming to my town?

I was excited but cautious. Rap isn't that good live, especially when it's old dudes doing it. But I got love for Slick Rick (and free tickets), so you know I went.

Maybe it was the three beers and the Lakers losing, but I wasn't feeling it as I hopped on the bus to downtown Long Beach. Turns out it wasn't the beers or the Lakers.

Some local emcees opened. Some were better than others, but none blew me away. It never ceases to amaze me how bad most rappers are because they no NOTHING about working a crowd. That's ironic because that's what emcees are supposed to do.

Anyway, Ricky D hits the stage after his deejay played a mish mash of old school hits. It's sad, but this was the best part of the show. Slick Rick came out and stood in the same spot for about 25 minutes, then split.

I'll give him mad props for the amount of jewelry he had on and his pink shirt, but other than that, his show was WEAK. I felt like we were getting the half-assed, this-ain't-LA-so-who-gives-a-fuck attitude. He played wack version of "Mona Lisa" and "Children's Story" and an ok attempt at "La Di Da Di," but the novelty wore thin. I was ready to bail when Rick the Not So Ruler ended his show, which made me feel much better about leaving early.

The highlight of the show came when he was on stage shaking ends. Method Man came out from the backstage area. Not to perform. Just to be seen. That's right folks, you heard it here first. M-E-T-H-O-D MAN was in Long Beach. I heard a rumor the Raekwon the Chef was there too, but I didn't see him.


I really didn't want to type any of this. I love Slick Rick, but the show sucked. I felt bad for anyone who paid $25 for that. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt by thinking maybe he was really high or something. Ricky D, if you read this, don't hate me. I still got love for ya, but your show needs work.

Friday, May 9, 2008

JACKIE MARTLING INTERVIEW



Jackie Martling (aka Jackie Marlow, Jackie the Jokeman) is a stand-up comedian and host of a pretty funny radio program called Jackie's Joke Hunt (say that in front of your mom and see her reaction). The show airs Tuesdays at 4 p.m. Pacific Standard Time (yeah, I said Pacific -- fuck you East Coast bias) on Sirius Satellite Radio station Howard 101.

Why Howard 101, you ask? Well ignoramus, that's because Jackie was the head writer on the Howard Stern Show for 15 years. He quit in 2001 and the Joke Hunt is his latest radio venture. Along with host Ian Karr, Jackie tells jokes, takes calls from people whose jokes usually aren't as funny as his and displays his trademark laugh every five seconds.

I am lucky enough to have to be in my car at 4 p.m. Tuesdays, which means I catch the Joke Hunt every week. If you have Sirius, put it on. If you don't, you're really missing out. Not just with Jackie, but the entire Sirius programming is really good. Except for the punk channel. They started out with lots of Black Flag and the Minutemen. Now it's Bad Religion, Anti-Flag and Sum 41 all goddamn day long.

Anyway, I sent Jackie some questions. Here are his answers.

JH: Where did the idea for the Joke Hunt come from?
JM: The name "Jackie's Joke Hunt" hit me over the head when I was driving a few weeks after I got the deal to do the show. I heard the c word in the name after I said it. I liked the title before I realized that was in there.

JH: Where did you find Ian and Snark?
JM: Ian Karr is a member of The Friars Club, and had previously been a New York City radio personality.

JH: What percentage of the jokes told are yours and how many are jokes
you've heard from someone else?
JM: Most of the jokes I tell are classic barroom jokes, but the comments and many of the shorter stuff I wrote or write. Not including the long form jokes, I write all the stuff for Jackie's Joke Hunt.

JH: Your blog has lots of pictures with you and attractive women.
What's your secret?
JM: I love women and they love me. I guess because I'm harmless.

JH: Did you get high with Willie Nelson in Austin?
JM: And I love Willie Nelson. I always enjoy his company no matter what we're doing.

JH: Since I live in Long Beach, any plans to perform in LA soon?
JM: Please have your friends call The Canyon Club in Agoura Hills and ask them to re-book me. I love it there.

Friday, May 2, 2008

GREG GINN INTERVIEW


I've been a fan of Greg Ginn's since the first time I heard his downstrummed B note in 10th grade. It was a mix tape and the first song was "Nervous Breakdown" by Black Flag. Since then, I've bought lots of his stuff and think his work outside of Black Flag is just as interesting as the stuff he did with his seminal group.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Ginn and ask him some questions about his new bands JAMBANG and the Taylor Texas Corrugators. Luckily, I've interviewed Ginn a few times over the past decade for a handful of different publications. Each time has been informative and fun, two things I can't say about everyone I've ever thrown a tape recorder in front of.

From a few of Ginn's answers, you can tell this interview was conducted about two months ago. Deal with it.


J: Tell me about JAMBANG.
G: We’re finishing up our first record. We added a mandolin player and he’s on it. The band is Cliff Samuels playing bass, Steve DeLollis playing drums, Bobby Bancalari on mandolin and I’m playing basically the electronic stuff. We incorporate electronic stuff. That and guitar. We’re working with this visual artist, Joey Keeton, and he’s started to do a video for us. He did a Gone video and did a new one for the Texas Corrugators. He’s gonna do a video program. Our music is going to be synced up to video and a projection. He’s creating it, but won’t necessarily be at the shows.
J: Where did the idea come from?
G: It was something I wanted to do for quite a while. I’m not really a fan of a lot of videos, but I like what Joey does. I thought it would be interesting.
J: When’s the album coming out?
G: April 1. It’s called “Connecting.” I’m not sure about the dates, but we’re touring the latter part of April through the U.S. for eight weeks or something like that. The Corrugators are playing too. It’s the same people playing with JAMBANG. JAMBANG is an audio/visual concept. It’s very structured in certain ways because we’re synced with the video, whereas the Corrugators is much different. It’s all instrumental – both bands – but Texas Corrugators is more improvisation going on there.
J: The Corrugators sounds like something that could hit a market or scene of people who don’t know anything about you.
G: Yeah. In a sense, people become more familiar with things when you tour. A lot of people aren’t that aware of my instrumental music. If a group doesn’t tour, it’s harder to create that awareness around different places.
J: Where did this flood of creativity come from?
G: I hadn’t released anything in quite a while, but I’ve been recording. So I’m just getting caught up on some recordings I wanted to put it.
J: Does it help to release a bunch of records simultaneously?
G: They compete with each other. If you’re talking about selling CDs, it’s better to put less out. It’s just more convenient in terms of doing one release date, but as far as promoting them, if they were one month apart, they’d be basically the same time.
J: Why are you moving to Texas?
G: A lot of reasons. I live in Taylor. Austin’s close and accessible, so I get to see music there. One thing is a lot of music and a lot of practical factors. I travel a lot, so it’s pretty central to going to different places as opposed to being on the coast. The other stuff is just a change. I’ve been out here a long time and sometimes doing something different can be a good thing. And the affordability of it, living in a small town. It’s a lot more efficient. I like Taylor and Austin.
J: Beatles or Elvis?
G: I thought it was the Beatles or the Stones.
J: That was my follow-up question.
G: Or the Beach Boys vs. the Dave Clark Five. Or even the Monkees vs. the Beatles. Beatles or Elvis? Both. I like both. I don’t put myself on one side or the other.
J: What about the Stones or the Beatles?
G: The Stones have done so much nonsense that I’d have to go with the Beatles because at least they died appropriately.
J: Sabbath or Zeppelin?
G: Sabbath with Bonham and John Paul Jones a close second.
J: Not counting your work van, you don’t have a car. Why?
G: A lot of reasons. If a car was free, I would take it. I try to keep it simple. I’ve gone a lot of long times without a car. Anytime you can save on something like that…cars are very expensive in California. If I can save so much a month, then I can travel someplace or do something I really like rather than zip around town. I don’t want to see like I’m all…I have a van now. As far as Long Beach, I ride my bike to whatever I want to get to here, for the most part.
J: I love riding my bike.
G: I like it. You can really see stuff and it’s not as slow as walking. Long Beach is great for bikes, especially downtown because you can get to a lot of places or you can ride along the beach or whatever.
J: You seem to fly under the radar. From a business standpoint, how does that effect things?
G: If you’re touring, that’s one thing or your playing shows. I just having been doing that. I haven’t been under the radar – I’ve been nowhere near it. I haven’t been involved, so I’m not in the sights at all. I haven’t put out any music in a long time, so I wouldn’t expect people to know. Maybe people who know me or play with me, yeah, they see I’ve been playing all along. But how would anybody else know? I’m more interested in doing it for a while and have the band together to play live and start touring. Otherwise, I don’t have any use for being known or something like that. I don’t have that. There’s a lot of narcissism in music and the environment can feed that.
J: By not being out there, does that create misconceptions – good or bad?
G: It probably doesn’t create anything. I don’t know. It doesn’t concern me in the least bit. I totally understand that, but it doesn’t concern me, what Joe guy blah blah blah. It’s just like, I don’t care. I probably wouldn’t be interested in just giving my opinion on anything unless I was promoting CDs.
J: In theory, I’m ok with musicians supporting politicians, for example, but I always think they’re just doing it for more airtime.
G: Right. Why are they putting their opinion ahead of somebody else’s? Unless they’ve really studied. Let’s say maybe there are actors and actresses, and I’m sure you could count the legitimate ones on one hand who really know something about an issue, but for the others millions and millions of cases, these people know nothing. If I was given a choice: some average person you run into or some Hollywood movie person, there’s no question. I’m not going to think someone from Hollywood is going to know anything about anything except trying to memorize stupid miserable lines and participating in these horrible movies. One bad thing is this stupid writer’s strike is finally over. That was good.
J: I agree. I thought maybe it would force people to do something else. TVs and movies suck. Why would I support that?
G: Those people shouldn’t be paid. They’re the last people anybody should feel sorry for. Fuck no.
J: I get paid a hell of a lot less money to write for newspapers and magazines than they do to write God-awful movies that probably took a weekend to write. Why would I support that? I don’t know if I consider that writing.
G: It’s not like I’m on the side of the company’s selling this crap, I just wish the strike would have gone on and they both would have shut their doors and closed it down. People don’t realize all these actors do is read lines. When they end up talking, people think they’re going to hear them talk like they see them in the movies. They end up sounding real ditzy and it works against their movie personality. Sean Penn – the guy’s a total idiot, but he came off sounding kinda credible in some movie.
J: Or these Sopranos guys who think they’re Mafioso.
G: They’re using their personality to still make money off of it. And they’re playing the part, but now it’s them. Like Captain Kirk or something, like I’ll be doing this till I’m 80.
J: The only thing I agreed with was that I think everyone should make as much as they want. When companies are making money of them, sure, throw them some money. I have solidarity with them as people, not as writers.
G: I’ve had a solidarity with the strike. I just don’t like the ending of it. I was all for it. “It was a great move, guys!” They’re polluting people’s minds with this garbage. People soak it in because there’s a big production value. It’s a thing to do – go to the movies.
J: When I tell somebody they should watch a movie, I’m really telling them that because I don’t watch movies. Like “Borat,” that was legitimately funny.
G: Yeah, me too. People who see movies all the time say everything’s good. I say, “No, that’s all crap. Tell me the one or two.” I went to the movies about three years ago and I booed the movie after it was over. People were mad. I was like, “This is trash.” Some people joined in, but others were mad as if I don’t have the right after it’s over, not interrupting people. It had that White Stripes guy in it. I don’t know these people. It was a Civil War thing or something. Oh, I saw “Borat” in the theaters. That was good. I wouldn’t have gone to see that but I saw parts of it on Youtube and I thought it was too funny. I thought it would be watered-down, but it was great.
J: You said you are a news junkie. I don’t know people who read newspapers anymore.
G: I used to buy like four or five papers a day. Now it’s all online. It comes in cycles depending on how busy I am. I’m interested in stuff like media and news.
J: Would you say most people don’t do that?
G: In L.A., there’s not much to offer. The L.A. Times has a good sports section, but after that, forget it. I saw they’re laying off 150 employees. Maybe they can get rid of some of the dead wood. The Times is a joke. I follow baseball, but other than that, I wouldn’t rely on it. And they’re good for certain kinds of lifestyle like a certain kind of new vegetable at the farmers’ market. They’re good at kind of benign stuff, but other than that, they suffer from not having any competition for so long.
J: I think they’ve got way too much bullshit in there. I never read the A section because it’s too big.
G: Papers are really suffering and losing customers. If they would have used their brands to take over to the Internet, they would have been in the perfect position to dominate their respective cities. Now they’re trying to do it when their competition is already entrenched. They’re losing circulation and advertising to Internet sources. They’re all having cutbacks, which isn’t always bad. It’s good to have competing sources and the Internet has really helped with that.
J: What about Long Beach publications?
G: I read the Long Beach Business Journal, the Downtown Gazette, I look at the Press-Telegram every morning. There’s also LBPost.com I’ve been going to LBReport occasionally. What else? OC Weekly, LA Weekly. Those I don’t find very interesting at all for news. I ignore the so-called hard news. Long ago I gave up on weeklies. They should stick to the entertainment. LA Times should become a sports-only paper, the weeklies should go entertainment-only and leave the news to other sources.
J: I used to read an all-sports paper called The National when I was a kid.
G: The problem with them was you still needed to buy a Times, especially on the west coast, because they couldn’t get the late scores. USA Today tries their best.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE???


Since when did this become a "racy" picture? Sure, she's 15 (or however old she is), but a bare back is not only not racy, it's really not even that attractive. Has the United States got so conservative and puritanical that a celebrity can't show her back without the media making a big deal out of it?

I won't lie, when I first heard about this supposed sexy photo, my ears (and other parts) perked up. Cyrus could turn out to be a pretty smoking hot girl if she can keep it together. I thought this picture might be the beginning of the end. Then I saw it. What a bummer. Imagine all the real racy things she could be doing in this picture. That should cause an uproar, not this. This ain't shit.

Granted, Miley Cyrus is messing with a lot of money by doing anything remotely controversial. I mean, she's making serious cash from Disney and you know as well as I do that Mickey and Minnie ain't looking to fuck that up. But there's no way Cyrus or anyone in her camp could have known that this was going to be considered obscene.
I don't know who or what Cyrus or Hannah Montana is, but I got her back (yes, pun intended!).

Wait til she's getting out of limos without panties, then get back to me.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

HIGH TIMES

My first story for High Times came out recently. It's about a band called Dead Meadow. I bought it today and can honestly say the article looks good. I can't put into words how excited I am to be in High Times. Whodathunk, Jim Hall, writer/stoner from Long Beach, would be in the holy bible of potheads? Not me. I'd provide a link, but the story isn't on their website yet. If it ever is, I'll link that mofo up. Until now, do me a favor and go buy one. There's a picture of Miss High Times 2008 on the cover, so you're getting yer money's worth.

DAVID DANNOV INTERVIEW IN THE DISTRICT

Here's a link to an interview I did with Long Beach writer David Dannov. I never heard of the guy until I saw him read at Acres of Books. He was highly entertaining, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Turns out he's a pretty decent guy.

http://thedistrictweekly.com/print/arts/books/three-in-one-day/