Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Get back to work you spoiled lazy fucks
Pardon me for not feeling sorry for any one of you
Solidarity? I think not
Making money while the real wordsmiths are scooping up
catshit to earn a living
Poetry, novels, journalism – there’s no money in any of these
yet some of us still do them because we have to
Working for Hollywood is a black mark on your record
that stains a career like a teenage tattoo given in some shady dude’s bedroom
What I do and what these clowns do are completely different
For starters, I’m on my own
Those hacks need a job because they can’t cut it in the real world
A writer should be a free-thinking loose cannon,
shooting ideas all over the place
not working for a corporation that tells them
what to say and how to say it
Secondly, has anyone watched television lately?
The shit sucks
Strike forever, maybe TV will become the new radio
and die
I can’t possibly feel sorry for these miserable excuses for creative people
Pump out something intelligent, something witty, something real
then maybe you’d be worth what you think you’re worth now
I understand wanting more money but you gotta earn it
Judging by their output, I’d say a current Hollywood writer’s salary
should equal what their peers from the 1950s earned because
this new crop ain’t much better than goofy whitebread cornball shows like
“Leave it to Beaver” and “The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet”
Have these brats not learned anything from the shift toward reality based programming?
This watered-down format wouldn’t exist if any of you could create interesting fiction
But you can’t
Keep holding those poorly-written (what did you expect) signs and
walk in circles until you lose that spare tire around your gut
you whiny attention-starved assholes
giving the rest of us a bad name
Their leverage is the fact that new shows will be replaced by reruns
God forbid! Oh the humanity! Whatever shall we do?
Read a book, perhaps? Take a walk? Play with our pets
or our kids? Get to know our neighbors over a glass of wine?
Organize our living rooms so the television set isn’t the focal point?
The scabs will be in soon and you’ll be out of a job
your former bosses and the rest of the world will realize
how unimportant you were to the whole process
and you’ll wish you never brought any of this up
I’d recommend writing a book about the experience
but I have no faith in any of you to do such a thing
So long suckers –
Yes, I DO want fries with that

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