A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND NASTY WORDS

If you haven't been living under a rock, you'd know former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer fucked some hookers, got caught, was made to look a fool and resigned. He's getting shit on all over the place, but the girl he paid thousands to fuck became a minor celeb. Pictures from her myspace page hit the news and it got me thinking.

What kind of impression would I make if something happened to me and the media took my myspace pictures to prove what kind of human I am? I mean, no one puts respectable pictures on myspace. It's all "look how drunk I am" or "look how high I am" or "look how drunk and high I am." Pretty unfair. I'd like to think there are lots of sides to me -- partying is one of them. Granted, I never got paid four grand for sex, but that's another story. Myspace is where young people put photos of themselves acting like young people. Before the Internet, these pics existed. They just weren't available for everyone to see.

Looking at my pics, even I don't know what I'm like. It looks like I drink a alot. Maybe I do. I don't think I do, but my selection of pics is obviously saying something. What that something is, I'm not sure. Maybe I should throw some up of me reading a book or playing with my cats or watering my lawn. I need some balance if anyone's gonna come after me, which I suspect they will sooner or later. I'm working on a novel right now. The plan is to finish it, release it and conquer the world. If this is to happen, I'd better have my pics lined up. The book is already gonna make me look bad. I don't need any barfing photos to back that up.

Or even worse, what if I died? Imagine all the "oh, he was a young partier with no redeeming social value blah blah blah." It's fairly easy to make a person look immoral based off their myspace pics. If I died and all the media has were these pics, I'd be bummed. I'd never get the chance to explain myself. If this girl in the Spitzer case has anything positive to look forward to, at least she's alive to state her side of the case. Not that we care, but hey...