Wednesday, February 20, 2008


Monday afternoon. I'm driving down Spinnaker Bay, between the park on the left and the water on the right. I'd mention the name of the park and the water, but I don't know them. Wait, it was just before the Pete Archer Rowing something or another. I should know this as I take this route to get to Bixby Golf Course. But none of that matters. So I'm driving along, obeying the 35 mph speed limit when I see a group of pre-teen boys playing flag football on a tiny patch of grass overlooking the water. No, I don't make a habit of watching adolescent males, but I was about to discover that destiny drew me to these kids. I'm finally out of the turn and into the straight-away when one of the larger kids -- looked about 12, taller than most and although not fat, much heavier and just all around BIGGER -- caught the ball. He looked startled as three or four kids rushed him. They were wearing flags, but there weren't any adults around. Kinda looked like a few teammates goofing off before practice, which might explain why he wasn't ready for an onslaught. Not sure if it was intentional or not, but one of them nailed this soon-to-be lineman right in the balls, and I don't mean pigskins. He crumpled like a blown-up Vegas hotel, fell to his knees and looked right at me in my now stopped-in-the-middle-of-the-road-laughing-my-ass-off-while-feeling-
for-this-poor-kid car. He stayed hunched over for a good 30 seconds and I watched the whole thing. His misery went on for so long I pulled over to the side of the road to let passing cars go by. The longer it went on the more I not only emotionally felt for him, I began to physically feel his pain. Ladies, getting hit down there doesn't hurt. It's worse than that. It's like, shit, I don't even know what it's like but it fucking sucks. It hasn't happened to me (knock on wood) in a very long time. Just seeing it was enough to make me crumple in my driver's seat, but not before enjoying what I just saw and thanking my lucky stars it wasn't me.

1 comment:

Steve said...

Oh gawd! I can feel it in my stomach by just reading that. Remember Chip's ball-swatting phase. HAHA So lame, but I got him back good a few times. Yeah!