Sunday, February 10, 2008


During halftime of today's Lakers/Heat game, Lakers forward Luke Walton was asked to name his Fav 5 favorite players. Of course he picked his dad, but his final pick? Him. Luke fuckin' Walton! Good to see a guy with (what I hope to be) a sense of humor. For that move, he's now one of my Fav 5 too.

Been watching this VH1 trainwreck called Celebrity Rehab. So much to say...For starters, where are the celebrities? That guy who was super loaded during the first episode. Can anyone tell me who he is? Seriously, I don't know. What I do know is, if he's the real deal and not hamming it up for another go-round of fame, he's in the tiny percentage of humans who I think should die. He's such as fucking wastoid he makes me want to put down the bong while I'm trying to get through this show. Speaking of bongs, one of these "celebrities" is the youngest daughter from Family Matters. Her addiction? Weed! What the fuck is that? Girl, you don't need Dr. Drew to solve that problem. What you need to do is get your has-been ass off the couch and do something. I hate to sound like Cheech or Chong, but come the fuck on. Rehab for weed? You gotta be kidding me. If this isn't a desperate attempt at getting back on television, I don't know what is. Some of these rehabbers are an embarrassment to themselves and their families, but going to rehab because you can't wake up without smoking a blunt is downright pathetic. I wonder what happened to her after day three. Did she get up and say, "Well, that's over. Guess I'm good to check out?" Cuz that's the reality of it. Dudes are shaking non-stop, sleeping all day and all night and this moron is in for weed. Her feeble attempt at attention makes Botox-faced Chyna and Mr. Tattooed One-Hit Wonder (whose song was lifted from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) look like decent human beings, which I'm sure they're not. But standing next to a child "star" in rehab for weed could make just about anyone look intelligent. And what the fuck crawled up Daniel Baldwin's ass? Again, I thought this was a show with celebrities, not brothers of celebrities. If he's been sober for a year, why's he in rehab? Oh, that's right. Attention. If someone offered me $30 million, a lifetime supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon and an endless amount of hot Mexican hookers, I still wouldn't be able to name one thing this dude's been in. Can't say the same for his brothers though. Shit, even I saw Biodome. Maybe that's why he been using drugs. If my dumbass brother was more famous than me for being a moronic born again Christian and co-starring in a Pauly Shore flick, I'd be on the nose candy too. Mary Carey, you're a great guest on the Howard Stern show. Don't go and get sober and ruin that. You're in porn. Sorry, but I think you have to be on drugs for that, don't you?

Started and finished Bukowksi's Post Office yesterday. Many claim this as one of the funniest novels ever. I wouldn't go that far. I heard this might be his first novel and it shows. I've read most of his other stuff and think when someome reads these out of order, it shows. I enjoyed it, but Women, Hollywood, Pulp and Ham on Rye are much better. It's like Reservoir Dogs vs. Pulp Fiction. I don't watch movies, like ever, so after enjoying Pulp Fiction, my girlfriend made me watch Reservoir Dogs, claiming it was just as good, if not better. I'd heard many people say that, so I obliged. Wrong. Reservoir Dogs, like all non-Pulp Fiction Tarantino flicks, sucks. This idea also surrounds Elvis Costello and My Aim is True. Sure, if you're old enough to remember this album being released, maybe it's the best for sentimental reasons. But anyone really paying attention can easily tell you the follow-up, This Year's Model, is not only infinently better, but is by far Mr. Costello's best release. I purposely stayed away from Post Office for years because I've wanted to write a book about my experience working at a newspaper. I thought not reading the book would give me a good excuse when half-assed critics would claim my story a Post Office knockoff. But I said fuck it and gave in. Buk's one of my favorites and one of the best, but my tales at the Press-Telegram are gonna make his 12 hour days at the Post Office seem like nothing. Now onto writing said book...

Saw a lesbian couple on Broadway today. One was, well, very lesbian, while the other was a smoking hot 22 year old. Made me feel like maybe I'm doing something wrong.

What else? Hmmm...jetlag still sucks. I'm still waking up not knowing where I am. But I've been more productive today than the past three days combined. Maybe I'm almost over this. If not, I might have to check in to Celebrity Rehab for post-jetlag disorder. It would be less embarrassing than going in for weed.

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