HOLE MOLE GOT ROBBED

It's our first scoop over here at Jim Hall Sleeps All Day and we must say -- we are mighty proud of our discovery. I pulled into Hole Mole's parking lot around midnight to park for Fern's. My friend Chris and I walked up and saw a cop talking to the really cute young girl who I shouldn't even be saying is cute. But if she's old enough to work the night shift...

Anyway, we walked in to a group of our friends. They all said Hole Mole got robbed. Disbelief. I was sitting on a stool peeping my head out the door. I could see the cute girl talking to a cop. She had a dishevled look on her face. I wanted to hug her and tell her it would be ok, but that sounded way too pervy, so I erred on the side of caution and skipped that. Later, Chris and I got hungry and decided to do some investigative journalism, aka crossing the street to see if it was true. There was a cop standing by the door. He waited until we tried to open said door until telling us they were closed. Chris asked if it was because they were robbed. The cop said yes.

So there we have it. Our first breaking news story. Too bad it had to be a bummer. Chris and I saw a fight there a month ago and now this. If the people of Long Beach don't behave, Hole Mole will cease with the late night hours. If that happened, where would people like me go for veggie-friendly Mexican food at 2 a.m.? So knock it the fuck off you assholes. Some of us are trying to eat.