MERRY SECRETARYS DAY

Today we celebrate another unoffical holiday, National Secretarys Day. Or as my daily planner calls it, Administrative Professionals Day. So here's to you, secretarys of the world (or is this only a national honor? Either way...). Instead of wanting to put a bullet in your brain, today is the day when you should be proud of your job, that jerk boss of yours and all his ridiculous demands. Play an extra game of Tetris online today. You've earned it. Have that fourth cup of mass produced coffee that your company is oh so kind to provide. Let the phone ring three times before answering. And when you do decide to finally pick up, don't tell the caller what your name is. Make them guess. In fact, answer the phone like this. "Hello. National Secretarys Day. How much do you love me?" Check out fifteen minutes early. Get in the carpool lane even if you are alone. Speed down the 405, 110, 710 or wherever it is you drive. When you go home, kick up your heels and make someone else do the dishes. It's almost your birthday fer Chrissakes.

Me? I am my own personal secretary, so I am going to go easy on myself today. No slamming papers down in front of me (when I get mad, I take a stack and throw them over my shoulder to pretend like they come from someone standing behind me), no calling for myself from other rooms, no asking where the paper clips are or what time so and so is supposed to call. It'll be fun. I've been trying endlessly to train one of the cats to do some work around here, but they're so lazy. All they do is sleep all day. They nap so much they make me look like a go-getter.