I SEE THE WEIRDEST SHIT

Yesterday I was eating lunch at Hole Mole in Long Beach (which one you ask? Wouldn't you all in Internet land like to know...) These two 50 something guys with salt and pepper hair wearing casual Friday clothes come walking down the street when out of nowhere a pigeon swoops in and clips BOTH guys in their heads. The guy closest to the street got it worse and yelled like a little girl when it happened. The bird kept flying. When they walked by me, I said, "Close call, huh?" They smiled and laughed. I don't know why, but lately I've been catching all sorts of things like this, like someone is telling me to document these strange occurrences.

Like last Wednesday for example. Exactly one week before I was at a friend's house talking about some local tagger. The conversation naturally lent itself to the "art" of tagging and I said I'd seen upwards of one hundred instances of people spray painting or using a Sharpie on public property. The two people I was with both said they'd never see that. Fast forward a week...Driving down Anaheim right across from Rec Park. Stopped at a red light, I just happened to glance to my left and lo and behold, some teenager is hitting up one of them odd looking green cylinder thingies with the holes in them. Instantly I thought of my conversation the week prior and called both people to tell them what I'd just seen. They both laughed.

I can't talk to dead people or feel a presence when I enter rooms, but maybe catching glimpses of the most random things is my sixth sense. Like the time in Hollywood when I saw a woman in her 80s get off the bus in front of me and faceplant into the ground. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Then the light turned green, the bus got moving and so did I.

UCLA lost. No big shocker there. I was at a party a few days before the tourney started and got into it with some guy who thought they'd go all the way. This guy's drunk, stupid or both, I thought. I was right. I'm a pretty big Bruins fan, but even I knew they weren't beating Memphis. Maybe next year? Wait, isn't that what we've been saying for three years in a row? Is the glass half full because they've got to the Final Four three years in a row or is it half empty because they've come away without a title in any of those years? I dig coach Ben Howland, but how long before people start to criticize him for not bringing home a national championship? Getting to the Final Four is great -- winning is even better.

Going to see Artie Lange tonight. Should be fun. Full report tomorrow. Or whenver I feel like it. Maybe never.

My pea brain tells me the way to get more hits on this blog is to comment on the news and link to stories. That sounds fine, but I don't have the time for that nor the desire. I like spilling the random thoughts in my head onto the Internet for all to see. Makes me feel less crazy or something.

Sorry to sound like a broken record, but Fucking on the beach in Italy. Beach fucking Italy. Italy beach fucking. Seriously, I don't think anyone reads this blog besides people looking for those keywords.